Consequences of fatness

I hope nobody takes offence at the title but I felt I needed to vent on what the consequences of my fatness have been. Triggered by a post I have just read from Christy at www.followthefatgirl.com I think it is worth reflecting on what the effects have been so far and what they might be in the future.

Effects so far…

1st. My self-confidence has taken a battering during the years I have been bigger, particularly since becoming pregnant the first time in 1996. In my teens and early twenties, most people who knew me would say I was strong-minded with a strong sense of myself, opinionated and confident. After being shouted at in the street (more than once) and hating what I saw in the mirror, my confidence fell, I didn’t want to socialise with anyone and even when we moved back to my home town to be closer to my family, I was introverted and ‘cut myself off’ from others.  I did start going to tap dance classes which I loved, but which also at times had a bad effect on my self-esteem.  Walking into group situations was very difficult and apart from a very few brief spells, I certainly wasn’t confident enough to go to a gym or exercise class.   The only time I was confident was in my marriage, my parenting skills and at work. 

2nd.  My health was not affected so badly, although my activity was curtailed by my size.  (I have suffered with non-weight related asthma since age 21 and this occasionally impacts my ability to exercise, however I am proof that you can undertake almost any fitness activity with this chronic condition, as long as it is being managed effectively.)  However, my knees and ankles were so sore in the mornings (when I was bigger) that I thought I was developing the arthritis that is on the maternal side of my family. Walking anywhere required mammoth effort and entailed sore feet and sweaty pits! Frequent colds and chest infections at least once a year took their toll and extreme tiredness was hard to handle with three kids to care for. As you can see, the health impacts of my overweightness were minimal and I was extremely grateful for that but imagine what they could have become…

3rd.  Not looking/feeling good.  An extension of no 1 maybe and definitely a contributing factor to low self-esteem.  If you don’t like yourself and/or what you see in the mirror it is virtually impossible to understand why anyone else would love or even like you.  And whilst I have always been confident of my husbands’ love and never hidden my body from him (as many overweight women seem to do), I was never really  certain  why he would love me. There was (and still is sometimes) a soundtrack in my brain that questions why my friends and family want to spend time with me and even now that can hold me back in social situations and in making new friends.   It all sounds rather self-pitying and I suppose in many ways it was/is. It takes time to overcome those deeply ingrained habits and beliefs but I do believe we can change these if we continue to work on our whole selves (physical and emotional). 

What could have been…

We are all knowledgeable about the possible side effects of long-term obesity:- diabetes, heart disease, vascular disease, depression, premature death, cardiorespiratory disease, increased risk of some cancers, stroke, high blood pressure, osteoarthritis and gallstones.  A pretty scary list I think we all agree, but are these truly our driving reasons for wanting to become slim?  In my case probably not, vanity plays a larger part than I would like anyone to know but obviously the health benefits cannot be ignored.  Who wouldn’t want to minimise their risk of poor health? It’s just that picking up a size 10/12 pair of jeans in a shop and knowing they will fit is so much more tangible and exciting!

My journey to wellness began last year after a nervous breakdown and since then all of the negatives I listed above have begun to improve and in some cases have disappeared. I’m excited about life again and try to live ‘in the moment’ most of the time.  My career has changed thanks to higher self-esteem and it now gives me huge pleasure to encourage and motivate others to do the same.  And do you know the key? Finding an exercise form that I truly, genuinely enjoyed.  For me that was running, for you it may well be something else.  Taking that time out for me, having a bit of ‘head space’ in which to think or not think, depending on how I felt.  And even when I had a ‘bad’ run, I still felt amazing afterwards.  This helped me believe in  myself just a little bit more, think about my food more objectively and took away a lot of the anxiety I was suffering with. Another brilliant side effect? WEIGHT LOSS!!!

Well that was all a bit deep and I hope I haven’t left you all feeling fed up.  Let’s finish on a more positive note. Whether your issue is being overweight, having an unhealthy lifestyle, smoking, whatever, have a think about what the consequences have been to date and what they might become.  Then plan a step by step route to improving the situation. And soon that old cliché about there being no mistakes only experiences from which to learn will ring true as a bell for you too.   

Is there an issue you have successfully overcome? Or is there something you are working on right now?

Nat xx